Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
