I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
