lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
