Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
