my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize