you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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