i just google imaged poop.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
