my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
