sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
