Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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