I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
