I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
