Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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