saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
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i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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