Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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