my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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