Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
