They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize