how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
