I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
your like the ambassador to my penis.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Randomize
