There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize