Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
