why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
