he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
