She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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