Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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