VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
