So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
