Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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