My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
