I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
