glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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