i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
