Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
did you just send me my own nude
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
