so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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