guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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