I got chris browned last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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