You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
