So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
