Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize