Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me