Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm

Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (1985)
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(630): View more from Illinois

is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

(815): View more from Illinois

that's gum

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(630): is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years? (815): that's gum http://tfl.nu/8le7

Replies (42) Good night (3126) Bad night (3006)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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(440): Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing http://tfl.nu/ipht

Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (3247)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!

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(405): You can't have hate sex in a hallway!! http://tfl.nu/3bhn

Replies (22) Good night (4067) Bad night (679)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I wish you could order shots online.

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(573): I wish you could order shots online. http://tfl.nu/guzz

Replies (10) Good night (4216) Bad night (724)
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(904): View more from Florida

we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding

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(904): we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding http://tfl.nu/10zj

Replies (3) Good night (3351) Bad night (773)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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(414): and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex http://tfl.nu/wscy

Replies (22) Good night (1241) Bad night (5501)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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(508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4

Replies (44) Good night (1436) Bad night (8660)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

(816): View more from Missouri

...... wtf.

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(816): Where'd you guys get the alcohol from? (1-816): Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower. (816): ...... wtf. http://tfl.nu/k9gx

Replies (25) Good night (7447) Bad night (1297)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis

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(414): I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/ml6e

Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (3296)
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(510): View more from California

Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

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(510): Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone" http://tfl.nu/xglm

Replies (14) Good night (3441) Bad night (1620)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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(229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi

Replies (6) Good night (2133) Bad night (1106)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?

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(832): Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life? http://tfl.nu/p6xv

Replies (11) Good night (1137) Bad night (617)
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(309): View more from Illinois

There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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(309): There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/encj

Replies (6) Good night (969) Bad night (431)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.

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(630): He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call. http://tfl.nu/ffg6

Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (332)

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