wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
two words...techno handjob
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".