Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
