you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
