I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
