Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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