I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
