He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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