I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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