Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
