You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
