im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this beer tastes like vomit already
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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