We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
