whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
