Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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