thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
