She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
