i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize