I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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