remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize