Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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