i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
